Procrastination should be a competitive sport. I’d be undefeated. :D

My relationship with Mondays? It’s complicated. Mostly hate.

Thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want snacks and naps.

Being an adult is just convincing yourself that everything’s fine while it slowly crumbles.

Trying to work while daydreaming about pizza. Priorities, right?

I don’t need motivation. I need snacks. And maybe a nap.

My bed calls to me like a siren, and I never resist :)

Please do not interrupt my regularly scheduled existential crisis

The only thing I’m actually committed to? My bed – and we’re doing great

Typing “lol” with a straight face because I’m dead inside but polite

I could totally be a morning person if mornings started around noon

Is there an award for doing nothing all day? Because I’m a gold medalist

Snack drawer rule #1: it's never empty, unless you live with me

I love deadlines, especially the part where I pretend they don’t exist

My bed has this magical power of reminding me of everything… right before I sleep

Starting my diet... right after I finish eating my way through all my regrets

Phone at 5%? Time for the ultimate life-or-death speed run

The awkward moment when you realize the only person listening to you is yourself… and even you’ve stopped paying attention

Searching for the TV remote: AKA playing hide and seek with your furniture

Accidentally opening the front camera: the ultimate betrayal