The plants in my room watching it rain outside

When your wife says she's with her girlfriend's but her girlfriend's are with you

Accidentally stood too close to the scanner ffs

Me and bro after smelling 50 different perfume at once

What kind of sorcery is this

Adolphin 🐬

Shtipokawa Japan

Use your demons to your advantage

Found my first @defcon rule violation already.
Reminder that this is how you get cicked out of defcon.

Accidentally tipped over a duck statun in front of a duck 🦆

I have two problem in life...

When I package from china takes 5 days to reach you but a package from Germany takes 13

When I say I need a party this is what I mean:

Me looking at the f my son got on his assignment that I did

When your homie reveals your deepest darkest secret just to make the mid girl lance

When you pirate a game and run it but you see cmd opening for a split second and closing immediately after

Mammals: evolve lungs live on land Fish: evolve gills live in water Meanwhile whale

When you are really short and he tells you to look into his eyes

There is no sequel

Most dangerous place in the world