Waitress: let me get this mess out of your way

To the person who stole my Microsoft office license.

And just like that they stopped saying hawk tua

dogs 300 years ago

Come on man

Batman when Harley Quinn nukes a city

People when a single dog goes missing

lankAI
People get confused when converting kgs to IBS. It's simple. Take the weight you want to convert let's say 100kg for example and you fucken Google what it is in Ibs.
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When she's your girl vs when y'all broke up....

Friend before date: act like you don't care
Me:ok
Date
Her: my dad died when I was 15
Me: who gives a fuck

Being the tallest boy in the class...Expectations :

Me looking at the f my son got on his assignment that I did...

Me:heal my disease
Brain 🧠:no
Me: takes pill with no effect
Brain:

I will need to inspect your vehicle to make sure it's safe for the roads.

Internet in my room

Internet in my room

Me: runs for 2 minutes
My heart: if you don't stop I will

5yo me: I'm full I can't eat anymore.
Mom: want chips?

5yo me:

The world if gaming laptops had good battery 🔋 life.

When you can't afford to go anywhere but all your friends are posting cute vacation pics...