🔥 "Me: ‘I need a break from being hot.’
Also me: Still looking like a snack."

😏 "I don’t chase, I attract… but if you're fine, I might trip a little."

🔥 "Warning: May cause heart racing, excessive smiling, and slight obsession."

💅 "Serving looks hotter than my ex’s new relationship."

🔥 "Me: Chilling
Them: ‘Why are you single?’
Me: ‘Because I refuse to lower my standards from 🔥 to 🗑.’"

👀 "If being hot was a crime, I’d be serving a life sentence."

"Me: does 5 pushups Also me: 'I deserve a snack.'"

"When life gives you lemons, make margaritas."

"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right… again."

"My bank account and I have a toxic relationship: I spend, it leaves."

"Me: I'm gonna be productive today!
Also me: spends 3 hours scrolling memes"

"That moment when your crush likes your old post… time to plan the wedding."