The things we truly love, we love even when they hurt us

just don't make eye contact

Trust me kids, I am doing you a favor

Also you are now aware of your eyes blinking

nothing like the smell of dogfood and saliva on your face

I tell them she is just protective of me, but really she is just crazy

Say hello to my little friend!

I am heading for a cliff and I can't stop

they already making wedding plans i swear

this is the peak baby body, you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

I went to the bathroom and escaped through the window, without my shoes!

I'd sooner stab my self with a fork then let them have it

It's Destroy your D1ck December after all

Binge it rn so we can talk about it!

Woke up motivated as heck for some unknown reason

just like Jesus, a meme arises, makes ppl happy, dies, and is resurrected 3 years later

Lower being should know their place... *cough cough* until i want a head scratch

you worse at making memes than politicians

long enough to reproduce anyway

i spoiled him rotten and now he knows i'll share if he begs long enough :,(